​QUEENE HELENE BEATRICE 
Epoxy Putty and Acrylic Paint on Welded Steel
approximately 13’’ x 13’’
2022

 
After my diagnosis with obsessive-compulsive disorder, I begun a journey to unlearn habits, accept my mental illness for what it is, and lean into its discomforts in order to move through its challenges. This work, Queen Helene Beatrice, embodies the beginning of that journey- as she is physical manifestation of a very specific and distracting reoccurring image of an apple-watermelon woman I have due to my OCD. This sculpture is a humorous, odd, quirky, and light-hearted portrayal of a part of myself I have rejected my whole life. Queen Helene Beatrice encourages one to keep an open mind and is a comical expression of something heavy I’m experiencing, that is manifested tangibly into something all can see and experience- creating vulnerable connection to something often unrelatable/unexplainable through playfulness and imagination.
 
Reoccurring images have been one of the most challenging components of my OCD diagnosis as they sometimes can consume my focus and have triggers that I am not always in control of.  The image of Queen Helene Beatrice was initially, and seemingly permanently, painted in my mind while listening to the song, “Apples” by the band Twiddle, on one particular fungi filled afternoon many years ago. As I lay in bed and listened to the song, the lyrics, “Yes I saw them walk out my door, one foot in front of the other, they look kinda like apple men with watermelon legs and a tail made out of rubber”, the frantic image of a multi-legged apple- watermelon woman was born in my head. To this day, she runs through my mind, whenever I hear the song, whenever I take a bite of watermelon, or sometimes for no reason what soever. So, I figured, if I can’t beat her…join her! Lean in, peer into the distraction, learn from it, create from it, and maybe one day, move on from it. 
 
I hope this sculpture makes the audience really think about what reality means to them, examine the contradictions of what is tangible and what is make believe, and gives them a look into the manifestations of a mental illness from one person’s perspective. Queen Helene Beatrice leans into a humorous, silly, and psychedelic approach towards exploring mental illness, which I am driven to share because in my own journey I’ve found importance in letting go and not taking life so seriously. I hope this work and my other pieces like it encourage people facing mental illness to not be afraid to express the nature of their realities in whatever way works for them and hope to continue to create art that supportively encourages a curious, open mindset about healing.